"Blessed to Be a Blessing"

Everyone has thoughts. Everyone has struggles. Everyone has joy. Everyone experiences heartache. Everyone experiences happiness. Everyone has a chance. Everyone has a choice. The question is whether or not you will take the step out of your comfort zone? Are you willing? Are you daring? Could you forget about yourself and your needs for one day?

We make our plans; we move forward.

The only time we stop to think is when life wallops us with a four by four in between our eyes.

What are you doing?! What are WE doing?

Complaining? Whining? Judging? Being condescending? Being arrogant?

YOU can, WE can make a difference if we would just be a willing vessel.

All we, as Christians, want is to be filled. “God, Fill me up!!” is our prayer we constantly (and consistently) pray. The question is what are we going to do once He has filled us up? Hoard it? Build ourselves up? Give it away? Ask for more? Plant it?

Tell me, where is the good in that? Where is the blessing in keeping it to ourselves?

My dad always told me growing up, “We are blessed to be a blessing.” WOW! It’s crazy how profound a statement can really be if one dwells on it. God has given to us so that we may give to others. What good would we do if we built ourselves up for nothing? How much more could we do once God has given us a seed to plant it so it may grow and flourish! Do you realize how much more you could be blessed to see another flourish instead of wondering why you don’t have more?

Everyone has thoughts. Everyone has struggles. Everyone has joy. Everyone experiences heartache. Everyone experiences happiness. Everyone has a chance. Everyone has a choice. The question is whether or not you will take the step out of your comfort zone? Are you willing? Are you daring? Could you forget about yourself and your needs for one day? Seriously, can you?

Think about it. Dwell on it. Pray about it. Do something.

Be filled only to be empty again.

“The seed I received I will sow.”-I dare you to pray this.

I’ll leave you with what my father told me, “Be blessed to be a blessing.”

Baby Steps to Being Vulnerable

Has anyone ever noticed how hard it is to be vulnerable? Or is it just me?

I mean, even in my relationship with God (who knows all things), I feel like I cannot be vulnerable. With myself I can't be vulnerable sometimes. Why is that? Why do we, as humans, search for perfection? NO ONE is perfect; so why do we try to be? Before I go any further, I must state that there is a difference in striving for one's best and trying to be perfect. I understand this concept, yet I still struggle.

Lately, God has been asking me to become more vulnerable, open to not only HIM, but to others. My response? I don't think I can do that.... I'm just a scared little girl with a front of everything is just fine. He then put His warmth around me and I realized that I could with His help.

I happened to be visiting a couple of good friends that week....... The test came. I sat at Starbucks with them discussing what is to come, how their summer was going, what they were excited about, etc... (Dun, dun, dun...) then time came where I knew that God was nudging me forward. I could talk about something with them or just continue to push it aside (like always).

I started to open my mouth to speak, I couldn't. Words weren't spilling out in a fashion like way. I was stuttering, replacing words, not really making sense. In my head I was thinking this is why I can't tell them, I can't even say it out loud!!! I took a deep breath. I was ready to give in like always and go back to my old ways, keep to myself. It'll change one day, right? NO. While all of this was taking place in my head, my two friends patiently waited with looks of comfort. I could do this. I have God and these two friends. I finally came out with what I had to say. What I needed help with. I became vulnerable.

I expected them to shun me. I expected them to want to leave Starbucks.

They didn't.

Instead, they jumped like two cats on a laser point. They were excited. They became a support system that I needed (even when I thought that I could do it myself). Everything changed. I was able to be vulnerable with them about the subject and then a few dreams I had the next day. I was excited!!

When driving home, I thought, "Okay! I was vulnerable, God!! I can move on to something new." Only to find out I was nowhere near done being vulnerable. That was just the first step.

Are You "Sorry"

I really do not know what to write; I only know that I am supposed to write. I used to live and breathe writing and reading, but lately I seem only to push it aside (which is not my character). I mean, I still haven't made it past chapter 2 in the book, Mocking Jay. *Disclaimer: may ruin part of the book* Don't get me wrong, I'm DYING to know what happens to Peeta. And, I read on pinterest today that Finnick AND Prim die in the book!! My gracious that cannot happen! Yet, I still have picked up the book to see (or read) for myself (again, out of my character).
I am also a nerd. I typically find researching topics, news, politics, etc. incredibly fascinating; however, I just do not want to do any research lately (repetition: not my character).
Wow, I just read what I wrote, and realized I am completely rambling and going on tangents. I apologize.

OH! "I apologize". This brings me to a entirely different topic than the previous paragraph. If any of you knew me, you would know that I generally would say, "I'm sorry" to anyone for anything. I even caught myself saying, "I'm sorry" after I laughed....EVERY time (even when people told a joke TO make me laugh). This became habit and a lifestyle.
One day after I had told my dad that I did not wrap the veggies  properly, I promptly said, "I'm sorry."
My father looked at me with the most concerned face ever and said, "Why are you sorry?"
I replied, "I didn't wrap the vegetables to be put on the grill correctly, and I am sorry for that."
He then asked me to think about what I had said.......
I thought.......
I thought some more....
I broke the silence, "I don't understand what you're trying to point out here."
He then asks me the perplexing question, "Have you ever heard someone say that 'You're a sorry individual'?"
I replied the obvious, "Yes, why?"
My frustrated father said, "What does the person saying that MEAN when they're speaking that statement to someone?"
"Well, generally, it is in a demeaning way. They're saying that certain person is not capable of a work habit, subject, or, in some cases, life. Basically, they are no good."
"So, when you say, 'I'm sorry', you're speaking what you just said to yourself."
Hmmm...WOW! "I've never thought about it that way... Well, if I do something wrong or drop something, what should I say?"
"I apologize."
"Well, that makes perfect sense! Because I AM apologizing, but I'm not tearing myself down publically!!"
"You got it, dude!"

I did not realize that saying, "I'm sorry" was tearing myself down mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Since this conversation, I have started saying, "I apologize" instead of the other, and I have noticed a change in myself and my demeanor. I was selling myself short, and tearing myself down before anyone else could. This is not the way that God intended me or YOU to walk. He created me and YOU to walk confidently in HIM: Psalm 139:14, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." We are one of His works. We are beautiful individuals with a passion and not "sorry" individuals.

-Holly

The Simplicity of Love

Okay, so this may be a little weird for some of you that are reading this. That’s okay! It was weird for me to click "publish post"!! In fact, I really did NOT want to post this, it’s kind of personal for me, but I know I’m not the only one that feels like this/going through these emotions. So, if you would just bear with the first paragraph, you can make it through the rest. In fact, I promise! J

I want to be whispered to with the gentlest of voices that says, “I love you.”  I want someone who will be willing to come up to me in a crowded room and slip his arm around my shoulders, and talk with my best of friends while giving me the assurance that he’s not going to leave my side. What about this wasting Friday night business? Yeah, I want that. How much will it cost to just hear his voice every day? What will it be like to run into a comforting hug after a long hard day? Can I collapse in his arms and just break down and cry without worrying what he’s thinking? Will he bring comfort as I lay in his lap crying? Will he not entice my problems, but just be there to listen to me complain? What’s it like to have a ten minute hug? What’s it like to be loved in the most simplistic way? What’s it like to know that you’re loved? What’s it like?

I am at a point in my life where I feel like I’ve wasted my time. I don’t want to look for this. I’ve always assumed it [love] would find me when I’m not looking. But, honestly, I feel unworthy to be liked. I feel unworthy to be loved. I have more junk in my life than anyone else I know… I just know how to smile to cover up the pain that’s screaming out on the inside. Who would want this piece of junk that’s typing this? Who would want to be the comforter in this type of situation? Who? Well, there is someone…

He’s the creator of the universe. The alpha and omega. Beginning and the end. He wants me. He wants to comfort me… He’s always been there. He has come up to me in a crowded room proclaiming that He will always be by my side even when I would deny He’s there. He longs for me to spend hours upon hours with Him (yes, even on Friday nights). He longs to listen to me rant and rave about the sad days, and rejoice in the happy days. How much does it cost to hear his voice every day? If I listen, He talks…key word: IF. He longs to embrace me with all that He has; but instead of running to His embrace, I run as far as I can….because I’m scared.

I’m scared that He’ll tell me I’m beautiful. I’m scared He’ll tell me I’m worthy of love. I’m scared of what I’ll do with his support. Bottom line is I’m scared. The darling of heaven was crucified for you and me. Think about it, He shed His blood for me… the girl that is scared out of her mind… the girl that runs when things are going well. He tells me every day that I’m WORTH His perfect love. He loves me with all of my faults and failures. He cares. He’s there, listening to my EVERY complaint, my every joy, my every lament. He’s there! He’s my comforter. He’s my victory. He is my everything!!

And you know what? This creator, this lover, this comforter, this victory, this listener, is there for you, too. All you have to do is call out His name: Jesus.

So, the next time you’re having a meltdown or have an amazing encounter, and you feel like no one’s there… He is. And He’s waiting for YOU J

Wherever you're at right now in life, God is still God. He's God in your joy, He's God in your sorrow. He's MADLY in love with YOU!! He DESIRES you!!

In a box? I think not.

Okay, so here's what I've been up to recently: putting my journalistic ways to work. I've meandered through places to ask people one question: "How does God speak to you?" I know some of you may think "I KNOW! I KNOW I KNOW!" and I'll say, "Okay, tell me..." and you'll respond with "Through the Bible.... DUH!" And yes, God does speak to people this way... A LOT. But God also knows each person's uniqueness and what gets them; he knows their heart. Like the book "The 5 Love Languages" God can speak to someone in their own special way. He's not "in a box" to where the only way he communicates with people is through the Bible (please don't take this as you don't need to read the Bible because God can talk to you in other ways. That's not what I'm trying to say. At all. Read the Bible and listen in other ways).

So, I took my curious self and started asking people around me the simple question: "How does God speak to you?"

I was amazed and astonished at the answers. No, I'm not going to leave you in the dark on the answers. Here you go:

First, I'll tell you my awesome weird way God speaks to me: through music. I'll share two experiences with you. 1. I was resting in my bed in my dorm room praying and kind of (okay, I was) complaining to God. I was asking Him questions, and He would only answer with one response, "Turn on your ipod." and I sassed back (don't do it!) "I'm trying to talk to you, hear from you! And you tell me to turn on my ipod?!?!" I reluctantly got out my ipod and turned it on to where it had a song by Tenth Avenue North. I listened and asked God why I was listening, and then it hit me, a line out of the song that I had never noticed before, and it was relevant to all of the questions I was asking Him.
The second example was a woman prophesying over me when suddenly she stopped. She walked back over with someone else in hand, and the girl started singing a Kari Jobe song. I fell to the floor as the lyrics were coming from her mouth; but better yet, I knew they were coming from God's mouth.

Okay, enough of my ways. Here are some other ways:

A lady who "loved to bleach her hair", and it was, well, bleach blonde was walking across her house to spot a white (almost bleached) colored spider. She shrieked and said it was God's way of telling her He loved her, because it was a bleach colored spider, and that's just what she loves.

A friend says, when she sleeps is when God pours into her a special way of speaking: through her dreams. She shared a dream and God gave the interpretation to it, and it was beyond phenomenal.

Another responded with, well, He gives me visions, almost trance like. I could stay there for hours just soaking in what God has set before me.

Someone else said He speaks to me through writing, whether my own journals or what I'm reading, something just jumps off the page and I take it in and pray about it. Then God takes me down a path I've needed to go through for quite some time.

I'm going to stop there for now, because this blog is going to be a novel if I continue on how God speaks to individuals; however, I want to ask one question to you...... How does God speak to you in your own way? It could be a spider, music, visions, dreams, words, etc. The list goes on and on, but He knows you and what speaks to you in a special way that might not speak to others the same. So, how does He speak to you?

Why Zplah View?

So, some of you may see this blog and ask (like my father), "why 'zplah view'?" Well, honestly, one day I got tired of the monotony of life, and decided to put together a word of my own and gave it its own meaning. So, "zplah" is now my outlook on life. . . Some days "zplah" is what it sounds like. . .  blah, other days it moves into love; most days "zplah" turns into random/weird moments; the trend goes on and on. But this blog isn't about just putting my feelings and emotions out there ('cause honestly, who cares?). This blog is about the love of God and how He can take you many places. . . I want it to be about guarding your heart. A love story. A warrior on the inside. I want this to be about life and God intertwined. Yes, I will include some personal stories. Will it get deep? I don't know; I guess we just have to wait and see. I just want you to know straight up that I'm tired of the mundane and monotony of life. I want something new. I want to dig deep, dive in. I want a different view. I want the ZPLAH VIEW :)